I got up early to go to church today! I went to the city in search of the Catholic church and walked around for a good half an hour before giving up and going to the Anglican one instead. I was so annoyed that all I could find was a Scientology one which by the way I totally regret not taking a photo of cause I was so tempted to convert just cause I couldn't find St. Mary's and this was right there.

Aside from that I've done nothing productive today. I've been marathon-ing friends, cause I realised a couple of days ago I've never watched most of the episodes from seasons 7 and 8. Which is totally like christmas day come early, when you don't know exactly what the punch line is cause you haven't already seen that episode 12 times on star world in sg or 111 here.

My parents and Adri are coming here in July, and I'm ridiculously excited! One of my biggest crimes being here is that I've never been to Freemantle (You should really see how people recoil from me in horror when they hear me say that) ((Is there any other way to recoil!)) The current plan is to rent a car and drive around and see lots of WA, maybe I'll impress them with my MAD(ok might be listening to a bit too much gangsta rap these days) driving skills and then they'll get me a car! Its getting slightly embarrassing with the 15 min walk carrying my big box of coco pops from the supermarket all the way home, damn bright yellow box.

I don't miss sg all that much anymore, it comes and goes every few weeks I guess. Though you know when you first wake up in the morning and that few mins where you're kinda dreamy and either trying to drift back to sleep or like mentally planning your day ahead, I always plan like I'm in sg! Like ok I should go thread my eyebrows at Little India and then I'll call Dad for lunch then call someone out for a movie or something. And then I realise
a) I'm not in my room in sg,
b) My room in sg has been invaded by my grandparents,
c) Once again I've effectively got no plans for the rest of the day except some anatomy lovin'. Oh wow that actually sounds mildly scandalous but sadly I'm only referring to a textbook. Which does have some naked people in it but most of the time they're cut up into little bits.

My hair's growing out I'm wondering if I should cut it back short again cause it really is awesome fun not worrying about how your hair looks all the freaking time. With my hair now the messier the better! I'm guessing in a couple of weeks though its gonna resemble one of those tumble weed balls rolling around in an old cowboy movie. Dude how proud am I to remember tumble weed without googling it! It did take a long time to decide between tumble weed and thistle though but I'm pretty sure thats like grass or a flower or something.

Ok I have nothing else to say and I'm feeling withdrawal from friends already. Ciao bellas(Does that apply to men too?)

I changed the layout! I don't know why but that feels like some big achievement. I remember how I used to go to some blog layout website where like users would contribute their layouts and I'd spend hours searching for the perfect one. Today it was about 5 minutes on blogspot's templates and I'm pretty happy with it I think.

I've been procrastinating a hell lot in posting stuff. I honestly don't know who, if anyone at all reads this, especially after the massive one year gap between posts. Also I'm wondering if I should change to a new address altogether, something maybe more professional looking. Speaking of which I'm considering changing my email as well. You know you've grown up when the extent of creativity you wanna see in your email is the . in between your name, like clarissa.cross@gmail.com or something. If I remember I'm gonna log into gmail and see if that one's taken up yet after this. In case anyone needs a laugh, my old email address used to be violentbutterfly@hotmail.com HAHA.

So I just wrote a paragraph complete with what looked like the start of a list on tragic people names I've come across but decided this would be an activity better pursued with Bitcho. Another list that is gonna come up sooner or later is inappropriate songs to play at inappropriate times, which pretty much came up when I was talking to Aileen about what music to play at her funeral and I suggested 'Wonderful Tonight' by Eric Clapton. Yeah yeah I know everyone else has moved on from this kind of primary 3 humour but we still find it funny okay. Ask about our Ryan joke and you'll see what I mean lol.

I should really get a start on cleaning up my ridiculously messy room but before I go, thought I'd post something funny that happened yesterday, just because its gonna be one of those inside jokes I laugh about in years to come. So basically I was whining to Aileen that I'm missing out on all these great acts that came or are coming to Singapore, ie Prodigy, Coldplay, Oasis, Kaiser Chiefs etc etc. And then we decided when I'm back in Sg in Dec we'll go for some awesome concert. Damn excitedly I went onto http://www.sistic.com.sg/ to see what events are lined up for December. I can't even begin to describe to you exactly how excited I was. And then I saw the only event for Dec 2009 lined up so far is,

12 Dec 2009
Family Concert - Ah Girl's Dancing Feet足音翩翩-家庭音乐会 (SCO 2009)
SCO Concert Hall
Concert

Oh man is anyone else as pumped for this gig as I am?

Off to show Mr Muscle a good time, and unfortunately, as is the story of my life I am only referring to bathroom cleaner.

Its been a while. I don't know why I've felt so inclined to start blogging again lately, but revisiting my blog after this long it kinda feels like I've forgotten how to be interesting. Maybe its cause now all my thoughts are kept in a big mess in my head instead of neatly written out.

So what's been new with me since my last post? I'm actively gonna compare this step by step cause it was kind of a big shocker that nothing's really changed all that much.

I'm still perpetual last minute girl. You know for some reason everytime I say the word perpetual I feel guilty for not going to mass. I got back and broke up with Sam again, though I can't really say that like its news anymore eh? There isn't all that big a difference between paying for myself now and paying for him, either way I'm broke haha. And saddest of all I actually do still have that plan to cover mitosis today!

As much as things have stayed the same though some have still very obviously changed.

1. I'm no longer in sg, I'm now doing physiotherapy at curtin in perth, wa. Do I miss sg and what is physiotherapy and perth like will be covered in a future blog entry assuming I stick at this again.

2. I have short hair and I've put on a good 7kg since any of anyone in sg has seen me last.

3. I joined a gym that I actually enjoy going to when I've got the time.

4. I have a plan to learn french so I can converse with Sandrine, my new bestie here.

5. I say words like bestie and brekkie and barbie and singers (singapore) now. Australian slang is infectious!

6. I'm a lot closer to most of my family now, its funny how when you go away you seem a lot more interesting than when you were right there.

7. I've become slightly more tolerant of music I can't stand, and more open to other genres and mainstream stuff.

8. I won't say I've given up bitching in its entirety, but I'm a lot less likely to unless you really piss me off.

9. On that note I rarely compare people to animals anymore, unless you're really very animal-like or I'm bored in a psychology tute.

10. I reckon both 8 and 9 is cause Aileen and I aren't around each other anymore. Nov is way too fucking far away.

11. I've now become the girl random people think I can be conned into doing assignments for them if they ask nicely enough. Fuck off. When did I become nice!

12. I'm wondering how I tell people I've started my blog up again. I've got so much family and other people I don't particularly want to read my blog on facebook and on msn and skype and all that. I reeeeally don't wanna start talking in euphemisms about everything again its annoying and reading all my old entries even I don't understand what I was going on about.

13. I realise I can password protect or something but,
a) how exactly do you say no if someone you don't want reading your blog asks for it?
b) i don't know how to set it up
c) aileen will forget what it is everyday.

14. I've got a lot of anatomy to study today, which is fascinating actually so I shan't complain. Shan't is a word right.

15. Ok this list has ended in a different place than it begun so i'll take it as my cue to go!

PS I kinda like the photobucket this image or video has been moved or deleted background. If I was more intelligent or possibly just had more coffee in my system, I'd draw a brilliant analogy to how its representative of how everything else I used to know has moved or deleted.

It sucks that I'm this constant disappointment. Honestly, all the stress we kids (if we can still call ourselves kids that is) face today, its fucking crazy. How anyone puts up with it and remains sane is beyond me. Though you know, maybe all this stress would never have existed if I wasn't perpetually last minute girl. Its 30 days or something till A's. Clarissa's gonna attempt to mug 2 years worth of content in 30 days. God help me. Oh and all of you too I suppose.

I came up with a solution to all my time wasting problems. Considering I'm always in front of the com doing absolutely nothing, I'm gonna give Daddy my main wire or something to bring to work everyday. Then I can't use the com anymore! But knowing Dad he'll lose it or forget to bring it back everyday. Then howww. I cannot use my aspire excuse to use the computer anymore.

If you haven't heard already, I'm single again. Probably a little more permanent than usual this time, I think I forgot how fucking awesome it was being single. We'll see how it goes, the next time I jump back into a relationship I'll make sure he's
a) not boring
b) actually has cash some of the time
c) worth investing all the potential heartache in
d) someone I can stand for more than five minutes
e) I suppose attractive wouldn't hurt either

I'm not saying Sam wasn't any of these things (heaven forbid someone finds another reason to find fault with me, dissing my ex on blogger and all) but I mean it would have been good if we hadn't argued so much. Actually I don't know. Its too early for me to analyse it yet.

Though I'll say one thing. I'm sad to have lost Botak Jones Toa Payoh to him and his friends now. Who knows, maybe one day he'll stop being so fucking mad at me and get over it. And then I can eat yummy burgers and get tipsy all over again, while only paying for me. Oh joy.

Its off to take a nap now, wake up and do mitosis by the end of the day! And that damn econs case study as well. Byebyebye.

Keep thinking I'm that bitch if you want, it doesn't fucking affect me in the least.

It is sad however, that that has to go out to more than one person. More than two people. Okay four. I need to stop picking fights/retaliating.

The last couple of days, all I've been thinking, is that I wish I could be one of those fuckers still full of hope about every damn thing. And every single time that thought's popped into my head, I keep mentally slapping myself for the emo-ness.

I don't know what's been wrong with me the last couple of days. Its like everything everyone does gets on my nerves. And no one's been getting it worse than the boyfriend. Oh and my family I suppose, but they're getting pretty used to my moods so they don't count.

Everything the boyfriend's done lately has just irritated me beyond belief. Its crazy, and I dunno, I'm undecided if the things I'm mad about are petty or warranted. I wish I had someone to talk to about all this shit. Like someone else's perspective. Someone who won't say I told you so. Someone who can give me an objective view on everything. Actually no, scratch that. Half the issues I have with him I don't want anyone else to know about, cause its fucking embarrassing that a girl like me still has to deal with shit like this. No no, not saying I'm gorgeous or whatever ANDRE TAN before you quote me and analyse this shit, I mean a girl who's been in relationships before and should know better and be treated better and whatever. NO he's not fucking stalking me again or whatever, its a whole different set of problems now. I think. Or maybe its rewind 2 years back and press play and you'll see the same shit. Fuck I don't know what I'm talking about, as if I ever do.

Figures the only time I'm bothered to blog is when dre isn't online for me to bitch to. Hahaha. Then he can call me fat and I can feel better about myself.


P.S This post does not in any way indicate that my blog is alive again. Temporary resuscitations such as the above might occur occasionally, but only in instances where CPR is performed by a guy equivalent in hotness to Ryan Phillipe. I wouldn't advise you to keep checking back everyday or week to see if I've updated yet, maybe once a month. I'll throw out that same excuse you see everywhere else, I'm busy studying for A's lah! Total bs but whatever.

I think I must lack some fundamental woman gene. Or maybe it got replaced with some bitch gene. I don't know, Bitch keeps insisting its true. And maybe it is. I don't seem to do all too well in relationships. I'm not a very nice person; if it seems to you like I am then I probably bitch behind your back a hell lot. I think everyday that goes by I become a little less mature. Or maybe this is what maturity feels like. Damnit I'm 18. I've never gone clubbing before. Haha yes shock outrage whatever the reaction is. Yeah yeah people wanna take me I don't wanna go. Its too many people trying to fit in. It just sounds so unappealing to me. Its the same with Dipsy's friends. He keeps wanting me to meet them. And I keep pushing it off. I'm not sure if he reads this, cause I hardly ever update, but I can guess its gonna land me into big trouble and another conversation where we can't keep ignoring things and have to talk them out. God help me, I HATE talking things out. Anyway back to Dipsy's friends. From all the stories he tells me, like funny things that happen in school that aren't quite so funny to me and I'm obliged to laugh at, they all sound like they're trying WAYYYY too hard. Even him.

I can't help but wonder if every relationship is like this, where you get so easily irked by the other person. Maybe its just the initial puppy dog phase wearing off, or maybe its PMS, whatever it is, its getting harder and I'm not sure I can last much longer. When its good its good, when its not its not. Its never bad, its just that when its not good its not anything. I'm not making any sense. Thats what waking up before 12 on a saturday morning will do to you though.

Enough of this shit, back to sleep. Gonna thread eyebrows later, don't know why I bother. Not like he ever seems to notice any little efforts I take. They're certainly not reciprocated in the least. Then again, maybe I don't deserve much better eh? Wah wah self-pity. So attractive no?

Despite the current weight plateau (48kg, anyone saying OMG SO FAT AH is gonna get a few slaps from me), I've managed to convince myself that the fat that used to hang around my mid-section and thighs has either turned into muscle (yes I said it) or re-directed itself to my boobs. YEAH YEAH YEAH. Okay that last line was cause I'm listening to Fake Tales of San Francisco and the guy was shouting it. Hahaha.

clarissa. says:
bitchhhh!
clarissa. says:
i loveeeee you
aileen. says:
hahahahahah what took you so long to realise
clarissa. says:
seeing you hold my asthma inhaler today lah
clarissa. says:
i realised you were my lifeline if i was dying of breathlessness all
clarissa. says:
then cannot live without you now
clarissa. says:
will you marry me
clarissa. says:
tonight
clarissa. says:
we run away and elope
clarissa. says:
in las vegas
clarissa. says:
by elvis
aileen. says:
hahahahaha yessss!
clarissa. says:
hahahaha
clarissa. says:
then we go honeymoon
aileen. says:
we shall run away and never take As!
clarissa. says:
in temptation island
clarissa. says:
hahahahha

Ok random convo I'm having with Aileen.

SLURP SLURP SLURP!

SOMEONE BUY ME A SLURPEE. AND ONE FOR B-SPOT ALSO, THEN SHE CAN TURN ON ALL THE GUYS WITH HER LICKING IT UP ACTIONS. *CUE AILEEN'S GIANT TONGUE ACTION*

aileen. says:
we must purposely get ourselves shipwrecked
aileen. says:
then we can stay on some island
aileen. says:
and put my coconut opening skills to good use
clarissa. says:
ok can
clarissa. says:
must make sure you do in front of camera
aileen. says:
hahahah like that u damn useless lah
aileen. says:
u good at nth only
clarissa. says:
i will catch the boar
clarissa. says:
i will run and tackle it
clarissa. says:
and strangle it to death
aileen. says:
hahahaha u can make use of yupi gummy bear to help you!

[ ] You have eaten fish food.
[ ] You have eaten dog food.
[ ] You have eaten cat food.
[x] You have run into a glass door.
[x] You have eaten an ant
[x] You have eaten grass.
[x] You have licked a tree (eh all these 3 happened on the same day lah. shane and his dumbass dares when we were kids)
[x] You have polka dotted underwear.
[x] You have pink underwear.
[x]You had contests with your friendsto see who can create the nastiest burp.
[x] You have screamed a random word in public.
[x] You wave at people you don't know.
[x] You have flushed the toilet becauseyou were bored.
[x] You have slapped yourself out of boredom.
[x]You sing the "FUN" song. (shane and I got bomoh coming song. close enough, its hell fun to sing)
[x]You hold conversations with apillow, blanket, stuffed animal etc.
[ ] You dream of lamas coming out of peoples' butts.
[x] You think people who eat brains are cool. (Hannibal was awesome sick)
[x] You have/sing karaoke even thoughyou know you're horrible
[x]You know how to spell "supercallafragalisticespialadosious" by heart. (Its one l in cala bitch! hahahaha I'm such the loser.)
[x] You make up your own words and usethem with people who have no clue what they mean.
[x] You have striped socks and you havewore them so people can see them.
[x] You have hugged a random person.
[x] You have ran up and down the stairs cause u were bored
[x] You have created a puppet show withyour socks out of boredom.
[x You have imagined peoplesaying "bla" and blowing up.
[xxx!] You just tried imagining people saying "bla" and blowing up.
[x]You are addicted to the Anamaniacs themesong. (pretty sure its animaniacs)
[x ]You are addicted to "The Pinky andthe Brain" theme song.
[x] You have stared at your ceiling for over 10 minutes.
[x] You have talked to yourself
[x] You have conversations with your imaginary friends.
TOTAL: 28
Count them all up, and multiply by 3 (:

84%. YIKES. I'm gonna watch Bourne Supremacy now. TOODLES.